how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
