I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
