Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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