He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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