I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
