I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
