just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
