When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
tell me about the fingering
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