There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
