So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
4 words: hood of his car
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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