I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I think your dad took our porno
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
