turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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