Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
