So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
