areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize