I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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