using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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