officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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