I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Im part way to drunk.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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