Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
