dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
