Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
