I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
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No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
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I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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