dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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