Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
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Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
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WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
why does every cop we meet know your name?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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