I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
