Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
