I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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