She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
