Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
