Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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