I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
