woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
