the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
