Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
