Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
