shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
