God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
