they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
im six kinds of drunk right now
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
What drink are we having for lunch?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
