glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
