I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
