Come see our sink grown plant.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
