i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
