she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I forget how to act sober
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
