I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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