There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
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