I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
