Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
