I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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