hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Randomize
