so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
