There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
