His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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