I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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