this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
