i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
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