Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
