he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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