he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
