bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
