Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i came on her dog
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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